'you did?'

I went for a hair cut and now my hair is shoulder length. MY DAD however says it looks NO DIFFERENT. HELLO?!?! My hair used to be Pocahontas-long and now its Gwyneth Paltrow (during the IRON MAN premier) long. HELLO?!?!?

to

=.=

conversations

a-"The hospital called to tell you that your wife gave birth to twins."
b-"really?"
a-"sadly, they're both retarded."
c-"yup, they take after you,"
a to c-"not if you're the mother."

:)

wrong

its happened again. and Suan if you're reading, its not THAT. I've stopped that. Its something else. It's not deadly or a disorder *though it should be* but it can confused one's mind and muddle one's senses.

i shouldn't be. it'll be over soon but still its fun while it lasts. am i not being silly? i hate being silly but its hard to resist. well, that clearly makes me seem silly right?

'you're just jealous i didn't ask you.' true, true. the jealousy started when you said that.

epiphany

from now on, if this is going to happen; its going to because of you

maybe it is high time I stop living in the world where I will get whatever I want, whenever I want. Where working has nothing to do with getting what I aim for. Maybe it's all the television I watch where rich brats get the perfect grades and whatnot. But that's not real life. Thank goodness now, light has been shed upon me and I finally see what mistakes I've been making. My mom has decided to let me do "my own thing". I've finally pulled enough heartstrings that the pain was more than enough. I'm not a good daughter. Yet, I pretend that I live in this perfect little bubble where no one can mess with me. But I know how wrong I am. I know in so many ways, I fail to be the child my parents trust and hope I would be. I've got ideals to live up to. I've got dreams. I want to reach the impossible and be that one in the million.

How come I'm not doing what I should be?

How come I see others scoring well and knowing the answers to every question?

How come it is not me doing that?

How come I'm the one watching and not the do-er?

Its all down to attitude. I've been lazing about and ignoring my mother's tears and my father sighs. Haven't I always wanted to be the prize child? Instead, I'm turning into my brother *no offense to Aaron, I love you* and maybe a worse version. I'm busy, yes I note that. But when I'm free, I screw up. I waste the day away like I did today although I skipped school. Mistake after mistake. When am I going to learn that these mistakes don't bring me anywhere except to the same spot I've been in since I've moved here. I'm going around in circles to nowhere. I'm not in the least satisfied with just being here. I need to move on. These feet have got to start walking on the right road, the right direction. That ridiculous compass needs to start pointing me due North.

Where's that yellow brick road to dreams?
I'm taking it.

pure genius

Genius

click on that link to see this really awesome guy play piano covers of tonnes of songs. :D

don't believe me? check his cover of these songs:



that's We be burnin' by Sean Paul



Buy You A Drank by T-Pain.

Tagged by RaeSuan.

1 ) Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
No.

2 ) Describe urself in one word.
Quirky.

3 ) Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
someone who love me. if I had to pick.

4) Have you ever loved someone BEFORE but never had the courage to tell him/her?
No. I've never truly and honestly loved someone. I've been infatuated not in love.

5 ) Does it feel good to love?
It does. Its liberating.

6 ) What's the best thing to do with the one you love?
Anything I guess. It doesn't really matter since you have to be comfortable around the person you love.

7) What will you say to someone who doesn't want to believe you??
'To each their own.'

8 ) Was there ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
I don't think so. I've always loved easily which sometimes causes me to get hurt.

9 ) What's your opinion about someone who's jealous?
we share the same shoes.

10 ) What would you say to playboys/playgirls?
have fun playing till someone plays you.


[[ * PART 2 * ]]

1 ) Best place to cry?
In your heart where no one else will ever know.

2) Who do you love the most?
God.

3 ) Tell us about ur dream last night?
didn't have one.

4) Ever hated someone so bad?
Yes.

5 )The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
The one coming out of my own mouth.

The last person..
-you had a beer with?
never did.

-you went to the movies with?
my friends a while back.

-you talked on the cell phone with?
Melanie

-you hugged?
Stephanie

-you yelled at?
my brother

In the last week have you..
~Kissed someone?
no.

~Danced crazy?
yes.

Think of the last time u were angry, why were u angry?
At myself. and that's p&c

If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
I would like to have the drive to do what's right.

If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
Harvard!

Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
never.

Are you old fashioned?
You could say that.

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
to tell someone I loved them.

What thing would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
talking.

5 Facts About Me:
I talk a lot.
I procrastinate.
I waste time.
I sing.
I laugh too much.

5 Things that Scares Me:
the truth.
honesty.
failing.
disappointing someone.
not being forgiven.

7 Songs Playing in My Head Lately:
Piano Man- Billy Joel
Buy you a drink- Jesse McCartney version
It's only life- Kate Voegele
Get Back- Demi Lovato
I got your number- Nadia Oh
(sorry, only 7)

7 Words/Things I Always Use:
crap.
B.S. (and yes, I use the letters 'b' and 's')
Yup
Told you so
Thanks
Sorry
Nope.

Things
The computer
Toothbrush
Hairbrush
Cellphone
Pencil
Tissue
Glass

I'm not tagging anyone. I don't want to bother them.

dammit

i just sat for my accounts exam and i actually cried when it was "pens down". I made so many horrible mistakes. i ran out of time. I'm just so disappointed in myself. How could I do that? My marks are going to topple from an A to a who knows what! and i refuse to do what i usually do when i'm upset. i promised myself i wouldn't. and here i am contemplating it.

damn.


damn.


damn.

horoscope

leo
(7/23-8/21)

daily horoscope
Saturday, September 20

You may have to help a friend deal with some weird crisis, and that could actually help you out in a big way. Don't think twice before giving it your all -- things could get a whole lot better really quickly!

xoxoxo

wow. believe it or not, this is one of the few times it is RIGHT! haha. :D but i've never truly believed in horoscopes. life is what you make it, no?

what i want

here's a random post on what i want in a guy, should i be "destined" to marry:
He must be surprising in a good way. like finding out he has this really fun hobby i never knew about. He needs to be able to charm me with the randomest things. He needs to make me laugh and be witty enough for me to banter with. He should be creative and make me feel that what i say matters. most of all, he should take me for what i am, no more, no less.

i don't know. somehow hanging out with the GODSPELL group made me realise that it is fun to let go once in a while and be yourself. you can be random and get accepted. you're not always alone. what a nice revelation that is.

and to Katrina, you'll always have me. cheer up! :)

ode to joy

:D feeling much better. i really am. except for the pile of work i need to do and the fact that i lost the library's copy of GOING SOLO. great right?

MWHAHAHAHAH

:D I am SO proud to say that I sent in my brother's work to TEENink magazine (its in the US so don't bother) and it got published. mwhahahahaha. (sure, they don't publish MY work but as long as its in the family... =.=)

here's a link
down
down
down
down

got it?

Aaron's work

N.A.T.O.

If you can't walk the talk, don't bother. I know many people who can't do that. So don't act like you're the best. You're whole "gang" and you are pretty much the same. I wish I didn't put you in the group. My mistake. I thought I could rely on you. I clearly trusted the wrong people.

so in other words, shut up.

tightening loose screws.

i've reverted to doing something i'm not suppose to do. i need help. like serious "rehab" help. don't i sound suicidal. maybe it would be best to send me to a facility to 'fix' my problem. i need to fixed.

?

sometimes I don't really know what I'm doing. I jut wonder what exactly I should be doing. See?; can you tell even this blog post seems rather confused. I don't know what I dream of doing, what I want to be. I have absolutely no priorities. I am way too comfortable with where I am which is basically no where. How can I actually say I have dreams to do this, this, this and this? I don't. Where is my focus? No where. No where will I go then. I'm stuck in a bubble of misery trying to find my way out. I have no aim. I have no purpose. I don't know why.

Is it just me? Again I ask the eternal question: Why me?. Why can't I find a way to breathe? Why can't I focus on what I want. Then again, what do I want? How utterly unfocused, how empty, how dull is my future. I can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe you do, maybe you don't but can you say a prayer for me? Just a quick one that I may sort myself out.

insert explosion here

information overload. I just realised I have SO much to do for YE still and my members are not cooperating. I guess it is high time I should start kicking butt. Serious butt kicking shall commence soon. Our Annual Report IS NOT DONE. EVERYTHING is still left undone. God, I feel like screaming. Why did I sign up for this? WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY?

shoot me.

drama?

today was another "eventful" day. we had another prefect meeting which meant we skipped our WHOLE school day except for 30 minutes at the end of school and an hour into our lessons. how great. again, it's all p n c. nothing big today. just pretty well.. stuff. I don't know how to label it myself. but since that's all settled hopefully now we can all move on and start afresh.

hopefully.

Matt Maher is on Life on the Rock this Friday (the one we were on Katrina. remember?) . :) I miss watching him perform during WYD. He officially rocks. haha. :D :D

new classic

School was fine for the past two days. Today however, Pn Noraini came and gave the prefect board a piece of her mind. The meeting lasted from 7.30 to 9.45. But I'm sworn to secrecy and so I can't divulge any information. but it was sure drama. But then we "got our groove on" (hahahahah!) and did our duty with lots of spirit. Seriously it was one of those things.

Then I cam back home and slept the whole afternoon away. Yes, I know. I practically signed my own death certificate. I have Add Maths tuition after this. So now I solemnly swear once this post is done, I am OFFICIALLY going up and studying before class and getting ready for my exams like a proper student.

Me? Prim and proper? That is a big joke. But still, I'll give it my best shot.

saturday

I just noticed that most of the new blogskins on BLOGSKINS.COM are all starting to look like detonatedlove's skins. I know she's good but please can't they be more creative?

GODSPELL practice yesterday was so draining. I didn't go for the POST WYD meet but I guess it was the right decision not to since it was hard to stay awake during Chem tuition. heh.

AND for those who care, Another Cinderella Story (Selena Gomez and Drew Seeley) wasn't half bad. its available illegally online. I'm not saying its not cheesy. but its tolerable. anything without hilary duff is good. haha. okay. that was mean. =.=

harumph

self control.

Gosh why is it so hard? I wish there was this pills one could take to stop one's self from doing the stupidest and horrible things. or even not doing something. does that even make sense. grr. i wish i had more self control. i WISH i did.

chihauahua

SO CUTE! :D