i took it

Keith Urban

Song: Tonight I want to cry
Singer: Keith Urban

spotted

scenario: going-to-be-sixteen girl having a fever and feeling melancholy.

Maybe she should just lighten up and finally get her way overdue homework done instead of glancing through gossip about other and feeling like ___ . although, you have to give her credit for being awake although her head is on the verge of exploding. too much work can kill you know, G. but then again, you signed up for all this and so you've got to pay the price. no spitting out what you've already chewed, that's not polite.

fever

i've got a fever and its not funny. this is what you get when you're over stretched.

crud.

♥

Wushu today was fun. Mel and Wae didn't go but I had the Form 3's who seem to find me hilarious. But it was really fun since we did so many types of kicks that we were all super worn out. but fun nonetheless. :D :D

I skipped Sunday School today since I went for wushu. and then, we went for mass at 11.15am. at Assumption where Sherwin sat behind me. and then I had Chemistry at 5pm to 6.30pm. Aaron drove me back home with Mom yelling at him the whole way since he nearly got smashed into a few cars. haha.

btw, the computer has been moved beside the dining table. So there is 0 chance my brother and I can use it without my parents noticing or either one of us using without the notice of the other. I guess its for the best. EXAMS in 7 days. 0.0

And Luvvy, be strong and you'll always have us okay. :) we ♥ you!

missing you

Suan is moving to JB. This sucks. My mom gave me the whole "family should stick together. think of her dad" speech. Which is true. I mean, I had to move seven times because my dad didn't want to leave his family behind. It something we have to go through in life I guess.

but I'm going to miss the girl who:
sang POTO songs with me in Form One
who hates Masquerade
who's seen so many musicals
the girl who adores Max
who makes random words with me
who always has something she needs to say
who's brutally honest at times

the girl who has been my BFF forever. (that is intentional)

:( I'll miss you like crazy Wae. I will.

---

right now is 6.49am, Sunday and I'm going for WUSHU alone. Good luck to me.

far flung

moving up the ladder of success is never easy. nor is it meant to be. and that is the reason we have such trials that push us to the limit. annoying stress filled trials. but after a while, you get to see the reason for these moments and learn to work around them. or sometimes through them. although usually, with them.

100%

once again i'm online. yes, shoot me please.

rae didn't come to school today. i hope she does tomorrow though. yesterday's class drama still had lasting effects today. fiona's temper was sparked once again by the 'GANg' in class. i know you all think its a pesky silly pointless thing but it means a lot to us. class politics are important, mind you.

then my mom flattened her hair. yes.. she did. and it looks. erm. let's put it this way; i loved the old do. seriously. but she says its part of a 3 day process thing and she's always wanted to do it so its her 'dream' and she's my mom so i'm going to support her all the way. 100%. it takes some time getting used to but soon enough, it'll be pretty normal. i secretly blame mel-mel for this. it was after all her idea. wait, wait i'm not being supportive again. cancel that.

off to study now. exams are in 12 days. someone give me a miracle!

it is early in the morning

good morning readers.
and i am not joking about the morning. it is exactly 0027 hours now. i'm insane being online right now. but i have just finished all the paper(crap)work that i have to do and checked out some courses in NUS.

this is super early isn't it? but jess is usually awake at this time. usually. not always. maybe this is why i'm super tired in the morning. but this is the only time i'm online this early. see? i'm rambling. good morning everyone.

w.y.b.

'..an elephant whale..'

okay fine. i know i'm no looker. i'm not amazingly hot or anything close to it. but i have feelings. and respect is something every girl needs. i mean, better grammar would be much appreciated. i've never hurt you. i've never been mean to you. yet, this is what i get? maybe being on the side of right i get burnt. i was patient, i was kind. but sorry, you've gone too far. trust me, you'll regret this one day.

you've got on my bad side and sadly, i find it hard to forgive.

Happy Never After

change

Change is good isn't it? I mean, what is life without change? Yet change can be terrible most of the time. Yet somehow it always turns out for the best. Maybe the C word helps us move on to different things in life everyday. I gave up someone in life to fix mine. Sometimes I regret it but when I think about it in the end, I had to. I couldn't go on.

Maybe this changes make us stronger. They help wake up out of our 'fairy tale'. Nothing always goes right. There's always two sides to each story and in life.. there's never white without black.

so change?; accept it. it's usually for the best.

to Hellina

To my dear friend Lina,
I don't know how to put this any other way but

I AM GOING TO MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MADE ME CRY. :(((((

so depressing.
Dedicated to you:

"GOODBYE"
© Anon

As I sat here through my tears
I look back on all the years

Games we lost and won
The prom where we had so mch fun

Having fun with great laughter
We all lived happliy ever after

As I walked down the hall for the last time
realizing I never again here that tardy bell chime

Ditching school because we
were way too cool

I can never take back those days
and now is it to late to

Make an amends with
old best friends

For now I say ,from today til forever
Goodbye to all that came my way.

badda

hello readers,
shockingly, its me again. surprised? i'm sure you are. so anyway, i have a really mad schedule tomorrow. first i have wushu in the morning from 8-9.30. then 9.30 to 10, i have to do our ridiculous civis 'kerja khusus'. the 10 to 11/11.30, Ultimate. then 11.30-12, the kerja khusus again. then from 3.30-ish to 5.30 i have Bible study. and then from 6-7.30, chem.

help.

Gg 2

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tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

school tomorrow. and i'm not excited. i like holidays okay?; shoot me. and Jess sprained her ankle on Saturday meaning she probably won't be going to school for the whole week. joy.

honesty

The most important thing I believe in a relationship is honesty. Nothing can be more important than that. Except maybe, trust. But for someone to really trust you, you have to be honest right?

Take for instance, your BFF decides to do something or wear something or say something that would completely humiliate her/him, it is our job to stand up and tell her/him that its a bad idea for her/his own good. No one wants to see their friend lose out on something right? Then it it up to that person to make a decision on their own.

Honesty is not telling a lie. Honesty is not being crude but being tactful in our approach of others. Honesty is the most important virtue that we can't go without.

love like this

school in a day. more or less. I've only heard from Mel, Lu and Wae (and all via my cbox heh). I called Jessics Lee but sadly she's not home. And after that no one picked up. Tak tahu lah maybe she's in Penang or something. Oh and Hellina, if you're reading this, I'm joining your Chemistry class every Saturday. can't escape me can you? lol

random songs are being copied through Audacity. Have any of you heard Taylor Swift's 'Our Song' or 'Teardrops on my guitar'? Quite nice really. okie pokie, I'm off to do my Accounts homework. Yes, I'm lagging behind my studies so early on. hah.

wonder

What do I feel like right now?

I don't really know myself. Its like such a blur. I know, this is the non stop mood swings of a 'going to be sixteen' girl. If there was a word that defined me right now it would need to mean:

confused, stable, rocketing to outer space, tired, alive, dead, quirky, pathetic and thoughtful..

WAIT there is a word. its..'teenager'.

and the meaning behind

What is Lent?

"Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have; God is pleased by sacrifices of that kind." - Hebrews 13:16

SITUATION EXPLAINED
Have you ever noticed how many meals we eat that involve 'meat?' I don't usually, unless it's LENT. Ever kick yourself at lunchtime after ordering a burger on a Friday in March and go, "Oh, my gosh.....it's Friday?"
So what's with this 'no meat' thing? "What did YOU give up for Lent?" "Why do you Catholics give up stuff for Lent?" Ever hear any of these questions?

SOLUTION OFFERED
When I was a kid, Lent didn't mean a whole lot. Lent meant substituting a filet-o-fish for the usual Friday happy meal. It meant grilled cheese or cheese pizza every Friday night. It meant that the music at Mass got more 'serious,' and we didn't say the "A" word.....you know, (Allelu---). It meant that SOON, Easter was coming.....and do you know what that meant? That's right, EASTER egg hunt against my brothers!

It seems like many Catholics who 'give things up' for Lent don't really know "why," and just proceed to make the rest of the world miserable. An example: I tried giving up caffeine one year. Not a good idea for me personally. Once the initial headaches wore off after a couple weeks, I was still pretty difficult to get along with (wow.....that's an understatement....it's like saying that Hitler wasn't a real nice guy.')

So what's the big deal with Lent, and what's the point of sacrifices, anyway?

The very word, LENT, comes from the Anglo-Saxon "lencten," which basically means "Spring." Why Spring? Well, in part, because Spring is about death and life. Look at the trees and flowers......that have died, and are now coming back to life. That's what Easter is about. The Death of Good Friday and the LIFE of Easter Sunday.....that's what we call the Paschal Mystery, the fact that in order to RISE....we must first DIE.

How does that translate to our daily lives, especially during Lent? Lent is the Church's 'spiritual wake up call' to you and I to prepare for Easter, and to remind us that we need to DIE to ourselves. Dying to ourselves, means dying to our own selfish wants, pleasures, desires, etc., to better focus on what God wants for us in our lives.

If you're like me, there are things in your life that occupy A LOT of your time and thought.....a lot more than God does. Lent is a great time to re-prioritize. For a lot of us, God is just a 'Sunday thing,' and the world says that that's cool. God does not.

Let's see here. He created you. He created me. He gave us everything we have. He gave us life, our families, our parents, our friends, our talents. So, mathematically (and this is NOT my strong suit), He gave us EVERYTHING, and sometimes we give Him back only, 1/168 of our week.....one hour on Sunday. Seem fair?

When we sacrifice anything during Lent, either something we 'need' (candy or caffeine), or something we enjoy (meat on Friday)......it's the sacrifice that counts. The sacrifice isn't meant to make us miserable, but to help us keep in mind (to a much lesser degree) what an incredible sacrifice God made for us atop a stony hill, so many years ago. Just as HE sacrificed and 'gave up' His flesh on that Friday (Good Friday), now we honor Christ by abstaining from or "giving up" meat on Fridays during the forty days of Lent.

SALVATION GIVEN
"Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have; God is pleased by sacrifices of that kind." - Hebrews 13:16

Sacrifice, WITHOUT a little discomfort, is probably not really a sacrifice.

Lent

Dear reader,
I'm going to put this up here since I haven't been doing it lately. Lent has started since Wednesday but I didn't go for Ash Wednesday mass seeing as the Holy Father gave the church in Asia permission to delay it till this Friday as most are having CNY celebrations. Singapore however still went through with Ash Wednesday and I wish Malaysia did too.

Anyway, its that time of the year to do penance and for Catholics and some Christians, abstaining from meat is a must. I'm vegetarian so basically, its no big deal. But for you, if you don't understand it, here's why.

SITUATION EXPLAINED
What factors guide your decisions in the course of the day?


SOLUTION OFFERED
Someone recently asked me, “Do you practice ABSTINENCE on Fridays during Lent?”
“I’m single…I practice abstinence (and chastity) every day.” I replied.
While I was being honest, the person asking didn’t get my joke. Incidentally, I know that it wasn’t that funny, it still made me laugh (not difficult to do).

It is a SPRING TRAINING for the soul.

The person asking was inquiring as to whether or not I abstained from eating meat on Fridays during the Lenten season, which, obviously, I do. It did get me to thinking, however, about the word abstinence, and its bigger meaning in my own life.

Abstinence from meat is more than “going without” or a “reminder” of the fact that Christ offered His flesh for us on the cross. Abstinence is a form of prayer, a discipline, and a focus on Christ and on our souls, rather than on self and on our own bodies. It is faith in action – placing our attention on Jesus and offering Him “our flesh” as a sacrifice, a vessel through which He can (and does) work (Romans 12).

Abstinence from meat, from drugs, from alcohol, from premarital sex…really from anything that might, can and/or does take our attention away from God is a wonderful blessing. It is an example of how our souls can lead our bodies, how we can make our flesh a slave to our spirit. That is what St. Paul is talking about in this passage from Romans today.

A single person continually choosing to live chastity, abstaining from premarital sex, is a beautiful example of their soul driving their flesh, and not vice versa. Likewise, even simpler, smaller gestures of “going without” meat on a Friday (for instance) is a great instance of sacrifice and love that God rewards with immeasurable grace.

When you “can’t have something” is obviously when it becomes all the more appealing.
It began in the Garden of Eden and has never stopped…for we are the brats of God.
Premarital sex is even more appealing to “un-marrieds” because it is wrong.
Snacking between meals seems even more desirable, when you’re fasting.
Abstaining from meat might seem almost impossible, when “forced” to do it.

Those moments of “difficulty” or “temptation” don’t have to lead to frustration or downfall, though. Not if we are aware. Not if we pray. Not if we refuse, in those moments, to allow our bodies and minds to dictate the actions of our souls. Our souls are gifted to us by God, designed to praise and bless, and are filled with power. The two are completely and intimately intertwined, but that doesn’t mean that one can’t “take the lead” on the dance floor of life. Your soul can control your body and make it a slave.

The first idea – pray. Use times like Lent to recognize and realize areas and moments in your life when your body leads your soul into dangerous waters. Identify them, ask God for help, and eliminate them.

A second idea - remember the acronym “B.A.T.H.S.” It stands for “bored, angry, tired, hungry and stressed”. What it means is that if you are any of the five, don’t allow yourself to make important decisions and be aware that in those situations, you are even more vulnerable to temptation and sin. Don’t allow yourself to become a slave to your emotions.

Jesus experienced the same types of emotions that you do, daily. When faced with those emotions (and with emotions far more intense, like in the Garden of Gethsemane), He prayed. THAT is faith in action.

Lent is a time to “step it up”. It is a SPRING TRAINING for the soul. It is a spiritual workout. It is a gift. Don’t “abstain” from the discipline, growth and grace that await you during this season. Don’t let a moment of weakness or struggle dictate your future, and don’t let a mistake become a tradition. When you fall, admit it, reconcile it and move on.

Everyone might not have rhythm, but thanks to God we all have SOUL.


SALVATION GIVEN
“…you too must think of yourselves as being dead to sin and living for God in Christ Jesus. Therefore, sin must not reign over your mortal bodies so that you obey their desires. For just as you presented your bodies as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, so now present them as slaves to righteousness...” – Romans 6:11-12, 19


Jesus carrying the cross…there is an example of a soul driving the body…

Grey's Anatomy

Wae did a sort of character match for the COF girls a while back and so I decided to take the quiz on the main site itself. I got Izzie actually, unlike Miranda Bailey which Suan Li matched me with. I was surprised myself really but when I come to think of it... maybe I am an Izzie. Here's what the results said:

A true romantic, you believe love makes anything possible, even when everyone tells you otherwise. You often base decisions on your heart and not your head but you wouldn't have it any other way, even when life keeps handing you dissapointments.

So if any of you want to see who you match based on the original site click the link at the bottom of this post.

BTW, here's what Wae put matched us last time:
Jess- Izzie
Lu- Meredith
Mel- Christina
Me-Dr. Bailey
Wae- Dr. Addison

Grey's Anatomy Quiz

honestly

Right now I feel like I'm in a bubble. In a stereotypical bouncy ridiculous bubble. made out of bubble wrap. so its cushy and comfy in a strange disturbing way. righty.

I wonder how my dear friends are doing. I haven't heard from any one of them since. well. a long while in my opinion. So if any one of you is reading this, do tell me whether you're still alive. hah.

femininity

"femininity is more than a pretty face and attractive clothes.

it is an attitude, an inner radiance, a certain serenity, an appeal to sight, sound, touch, smell, the creating of an aura of loveliness"
-Sarah J. Hale-

There is something about being a girl that's very different. When one is in her teen years, she is being molded, sculpted into the lady she becomes. I use the term 'lady' for it brings to mind someone who is respected and respectful, gentle, polite and alluring. The term 'woman' is used most degradingly in today's society as a "woman" is treated as an object and rarely a person.

To be a lady, you can never be sloppy in your appearance. No suggestive attire. Be more feminine, less female. For any animal can be female but a person can be feminine. We do not need to display our bodies in order to be seen as one of the opposite sex but to wear clothes that compliment one's self but not lower her standard. Modest yet appealing.

Never let yourself appear wild or uncivilised in public. There is always a certain protocol in acting before a person. Never come across as 'cheap'. You need not be rich to have 'class' for the way you present yourself to others is what leaves an impression about who you are and your background.

After all that, surely you must suppose that I mean to make you into a stiff, proper person. Proper, yes, but stiff, Heaven forbid. You can be charming and well accepted without being ridiculous or as a simpleton. Carry yourself because others are watching and although you might think that "proper" ladies are not "girlfriend" quality, they are in fact "marriage" quality. For from my research, boys play with girls but men marry ladies.

Besides, once you do tie the knot, I'm sure you don't want unwanted skeletons in your closet. A lady is a mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter. She has responsibilities to take care of and loved ones to tend to. No man can be a woman, so treasure your femininity for depending on how you use it, it can bring you to success or downfall.

boom

Holiday for CNY has begun. And I haven't gotten anything proper done yet.

:/

HAIH

but I got my books from the US. :D that was the bonus.

hrm

courtesy of BUTTOXX

What Grace Catherine Maximillian Vaitilingam Means

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are incredibly sexy and sensual. You have a naughty vibe that no one can ignore. You have an unquenchable desire. And you are unrestrained in your passions. You have a tendency to be unfaithful. Whether you fight it or give in to it is up to you. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

crosses

Take up your cross.
Most of the time we try to avoid suffering ourselves and work to lessen the suffering of others. But when life brings unavoidable suffering to us, we must accept it, learn from it and endure. Pray for the grace to take up your cross and bear it as Jesus did, on behalf of others.

hopes

Tomorrow is the first YE sale. I hope it goes well! It HAS to go well. (crosses fingers)
nite'

slow me down

It helps when you listen to Emmy Rossum singing and realise that everything is so fast now. Time is barely present. Here, now; its all gone in an instant. Its hard to notice that January is over. Too quick, much too quick.

Responsibilities, problems, tugs from everyside. Life is getting harder and harder. How can I say no? I have barely time to think. Its hard to get anything right now. Mistakes after mistakes keep being thrown at me. I hate that. Its so tough that I wish I could just stop everything and figure it all out.

I'm wrong in somethings I've done jut 34 days into the New Year. I can't change it. Nor can I move on from it. Gosh I'm feeling miserable now. But well, I'm not the one who lost her mother, I'm not the one who's in jail, I'm not separated from my family.

Stress kills.